Girl Scouting is Badass: The Rant

I have spent the past three and a half months living and working at the Girl Scout/Guide world centre in Switzerland, Our Chalet. It has been an incredible experience, as have the prior 16 years I've been in Scouting, and therefore I am uniquely qualified to tell you how much better Girl Scouting is than anything else, ever.

Do you know how hardcore the Girl Scouts are? Probably not. Do you know, for instance, that Girl Guides were spies for the Allies in WWII ? Did you know that before women in the US could even vote, Girl Scouting gave them a space to brave the wilderness? While Boy Scouts of America (still) holds tight to it's homophobic policies, did you know the Girl Scouts welcomed girls of different abilities, sexual orientations, races and creeds before it was cool?

I'm not going to lie to you here; Girl Scouting is badass.

In a lot of the world (i.e. Europe), Scouting has become coed, and this is great. There are many positives to coed groups, and I know several really fantastic Boy Scouts whom I secretly feel would be cool enough to be Girl Scouts. But you know what I don't buy? That Girl Guiding and Scouting needs to mimic or join the boys in order to get it right.

One of several equally depressing anecdotes: A coed group of really, really fantastic Scouts from universities around the UK is staying here at Our Chalet. On a recent day on program, the group was split up into smaller groups to have a campfire building competition. One group happened to be entirely female. "Could we have one of the guys join our group?" they asked.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? Like, I know a lot of ways to build fires, but I was unaware that having a Y chromosome made you somehow better at it. I'm confused, do you light the fire with your penis instead of a match? No? I've heard similar sentiments of internalized sexism from girls, young women and leaders for the past 16 years of my scouting life. No, I don't need help carrying this, which is likely why I picked it up in the first place.Yes, I am capable of rolling up a tent.  No, the male leaders are not automatically funnier than the female ones; have you met me? I'm effing hilarious.

While I'm ranting, I'm completely over this idea that Girl Scouts is the inferior version of Boy Scouts. I swear to God, the next time some Boy Scout insinuates that I'm less able to handle something outdoorsy than he is, I will use my lashing and pioneering skills to tie him to a roasting spit, and my one-match fire skills to bonfire his condescending ass. The only thing Boy Scouts are categorically better at is peeing off of things, which I'm not entirely sure is something to brag about.

A brief survey of reality will tell you that we are, in fact, still living in a world that values girls less than boys, and that doesn't magically disappear in a coed scouting environment. Someday, in a perfectly egalitarian world, that would be fantastic, but Girl Scouting as it now stands is a unique, all female environment that does what our world needs more of: empowers girls and young women.

Here is what Girl Scouting teaches girls: You are a fully capable human being, who is able to both play dress up and build shelter out of trees. You are capable of changing the world, and the most important thing in life? It's up to you to find out what it is, but it's not impressing boys.

On a personal level, there is nothing in my life that has been untouched by my time in Girl Scouts. Beyond my semi-concerning addiction to Thin Mint cookies, Girl Scouting gave me my first time rock climbing, public speaking, using first responder training, jumping off of things I was scared to, white water rafting, comforting crying children, learning to lash a swinging chair out of wood and twine, skinny dipping, figuring out the meaning of life on a dock underneath the stars, and challenging myself, failing, and learning it's ok.

It's not that these things cannot exist in a coed environment. It's just that my copious amounts of observations and common sense tell me that Girl Scouting and Guiding does a damn good job of raising girls who are strong and self-sufficient enough to not require a boy around to light a freaking campfire.

The World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts is the largest non profit organization in the world dedicated to woman and girls, with 10 million girl members and countless grown-up ones. We plant trees, teach HIV/AIDS awareness, send delegates to UN conferences, and, most importantly, have fun. The sisterhood I belong to changes the world every day in ways that I can still hardly fathom. Girl Scouting and Guiding is as essential to a free world as air, and I could not be prouder to be part of a movement that empowers youth the way that it does.

And the girls? They are more insightful, compassionate, funny and courageous than you would ever think possible. Not a day has gone by working with these girls that they don't completely blow me away. From my little campers at Girl Scout camp who have grown into amazing role models, to the girls at Our Chalet a couple weeks ago who taught me songs and made me cry from laughing so hard, I get goosebumps thinking about how lucky I am to be part of their lives. People occasionally ask me how I can possibly sacrifice a summer (or two, or six) to Girl Scouts, of all things. My question is, how can you possibly not?

Christoph Is All That Is Man

Christoph is the grounds and maintenance guy at Our Chalet. He is probably about fifty and has a mohawk, earring, beard and thick German accent. We are pretty sure he has no blood in his veins, only a constant stream of nicotine and coffee. Here are the things Christoph has taught me how to do this summer:
1. Chainsaw
2. Recycle
3. Swear in German

Occasionally, Christoph goes on trips up to Germany to get meat and whatever else, because in Switzerland everything is insanely expensive. On these trips, he will bring along vollies who are annoying and persistent and really want to tag along. I totally fit this bill. Also, mostly he just says whoever is in his car at 9am can go with. 

This morning, after some tearful goodbyes to the three volunteers heading back home today, Christoph found himself in the car with myself and Heather Tennessee. This is not her real name, but we've dubbed the two Heathers based on homeland instead of surname because that obviously makes more sense. The radio of Christoph's car was playing Grease, and he was in full Scout regalia, necker and hat included. The man is awesome. 

The road trip to Germany was a few hours, during which both Heather and I floated in and out of consciousnesses, waking occasionally to ask questions about the life of a maintenance man and/or how much longer?  We crossed the Rhine and came to... a grocery store. Christoph was bitter that there was no "chicken truck" in the parking lot, but we proceeded to the store, and bought a bunch of really cheap food, which is probably normal priced, except that I'm now used to cheese that costs about $7. Christoph translated the different types of amazing-looking fresh bread, and we were on our way again to the Black Forest. 

I know that I'm probably a huge nerd for this, but I love fairy tales. The Grimm brothers are creepy and everything, but the Black Forest factors large in places I want to go hunting for mythical creatures. Christoph told me everything there was to know about the woods as we drove in, and seriously, the place is amazing. It's named the Black Forest because of trees that block out a lot of the light on the forest floor, which gives it a kind of mysterious sense. We passed through a couple picturesque little forest villages, one that appeared to be built on a bog, and finally found what Christoph referred to as a "chicken truck." This literally means a truck parked in some random parking lot which sells rotisserie chickens out of the side of it. Heather and he bought some, while I was quite happy with my tuna and bread from the grocery store. 

After eating on a fallen tree at the side of the road, we continued on past a lake area that had more people in one little space than I've seen the rest of my summer combined. The three of us agreed to continue onward, and we ended up by the world's largest cuckoo clock, having Black Forest cake in the middle of the Black Forest. The cake was meh, but the forest made up for it. And the cuckoo clock? Fairly weird, and built into the side of the house. I think that's cheating, as far as "world's largest" is concerned, but whatever. 

We drive on in hopes of finding our next grocery store in France, just across the border, but it was a ghost town and Wikipedia tells me it's because August 15th is the "Assumption of Mary." Things I have learned while here: Europeans are really into public holidays. 

We've made it about 10 minutes beyond the sad, closed little grocery store when Christoph pulls over abruptly and tells us he needs "a shrub and a smoke," which Heather and I find to be a really interesting way to put that. The rest of the drive is the single prettiest road trip I've ever experienced. We pass French vineyards and sunflower fields, occasionally driving through towns with beautiful, vine-covered old buildings. Christoph has a brief but vocal disagreement with the woman's voice on his GPS, because she seems to be sending us on random back roads. When we make it to Swiss border patrol, the group of about ten uniformed guys wave us through with barely a glance; for all their Swiss Army Knives and whatever, they seem to be pretty low-key on borders here. 

We made it home just as the sun is setting over the mountains on the other side of our valley, and Heather and I proceeded to raid the kitchens for dinner. I have no idea how my life has shaped up to be this much like a (wonderful, albeit weird) movie, but I can't believe I only have two weeks left. Road trips to Canada just won't be quite the same...